img @ dietsinreview

Well, not quite yet. But if we know one thing, it’s that men with mustaches wield a whole lot of power, and a recent poll of the American Mustache Institute, 80% of its members declared they’d prefer the Super Bowl be moved to a Saturday, claiming that it would increase the economic gain for grocery stores, restaurants and bars, and TV networks.

Now, we’re not sure how we feel about destroying the tradition of Super Bowl Sunday, but we’ve got to admit they make some valid points. How many times have you had to drag yourself, or be dragged, into the office Monday morning cause you partied too hard with all your buddies for the Super Bowl?

Check out the full story at Asylum, including a link to sign the petition to move the Super Bowl to Saturday!

Do you have adult onset ADHD? Does sitting for extended periods of time make you nervous and uncomfortable, even if football is on TV? Never fear, because the fine folks over at HolyTaco have created a Bingo card drinking game for the Super Bowl that will keep you entertained (and possibly belligerent) for the entire 4 quarters.  Print, and enjoy!

This video is probably the most hilarious thing that will happen to the Super Bowl this year, unless by some miracle Drew Brees and Peyton Manning bust out a choreographed rendition of Pants on the Ground in the middle of the Sun Life Stadium. Enjoy.

Despite the fact that underwear companies have been pumping out bras since the 1800s, the classic “hot chick” photoshoot in many men’s magazines these days feature women using completely inconvenient items to shield their breasts, from the crossed arm move, to a strategically placed pillow. Our favorite at BCU, though, is definitely the hand bra. Seductive without revealing everything, the hand bra deserves an award. With the help of Maxim, we’ve compiled a few of our favorite hand bras from over the years.

1. Carmen Electra

We forgive Carmen for that terrible reality show she made with her then husband Dave Navarro, and we even forgive her for ever dating Dennis Rodman. Let’s be honest, we’d forgive her for just about anything if she lived her life wearing only a hand bra.

2. Jennifer Scholle

Who is this girl? Does anyone know? I think shes famous for being someone’s girlfriend? Or wife maybe? We really couldn’t care less because this is quite possibly the hottest picture in the history of the world: it’s a double whammy of hand bra and side boob, with the added bonus of a butt shot. Whoever photographed this- we salute you.

3. Bobbie Sue Luthor

The host of the über nerdy Junkyard Wars shows that there’s more to her than announcing whether the Catapult Carnage  beat Jet Grenade. Despite working alongside acne-ridden mechanical geeks, she’s retained a flawless body, exemplified by this high-quality hand bra photo.

4. Sofia Vergara

You might of noticed we’ve been talking a lot about the Colombian bombshell from ABC’s Modern Family. It might be because we love that show, or it might be because this woman has got a rack that acts like a homing device to all males in the world.

5. Joana Krupa

One of the artsier photos in the bunch, the dark background and rainfall do not detract from the epic example of hand bra sexiness that this Dancing with the Stars hottie’s got going on. Very impressive.

Were you under the impression that your vagina was okay? Well, you were wrong. According to beauty “specialists” your vagina is in need of some serious adjustment. Everything from its color to its smell is gross and wrong and needs to be fixed, so with the help of Alternet, we’ve got a list of all the problems your vagina has, and some simple, if not disturbing, ways to fix them.

1. Your vagina is smelly. Solution: Vaginal Deodorant

We’ve all heard those disgusting jokes about the “fishy” smell that vaginas can get if not properly cared for.  And although it seems to me that a simple washing would do the trick, there are some products out there that will keep you fresh and clean, even if you haven’t showered in months. From scented suppositories to a “feminine spray” that has some of the same ingredients as 409, you can go from smelly to countertop clean in a jiffy!

2. Your vagina is dirty. Solution: Douching

It’s funny how even when the Department of Health says something is absolutely terrible for you, they can still sell it. In fancy packages. And advertise it in magazines. So is true of douching, which used to be a primitive form of birth control until someone realized that squirting vinegar up your hoo-ha wasn’t gonna stop those aggressive little swimmers. However, even now women are using douches to try and ward off vagina stink (once again, anyone heard of a shower?) even though doctors and scientists everywhere keep saying not to.

3.  Your vagina is loose. Solution: Vaginal Rejuvenation

What’s wrong with you women?! Why is it that after pushing an 8 pound child out yourself, you can’t stop whining and tighten that thing back up? You’re such failures that we had to invent a surgery that would do it for you. Because as we all know, if your vagina isn’t vice-grip tight, it’s pretty worthless.

4. Your vagina tastes bad. Solution: Vagina Mints

Did you know there are women in the world whose vaginas do not taste like orange sherbet? This is unfortunate, but not unsolvable. Luckily, the kind folks over at Linger Internal have created a vagina mint (which is actually just a regular mint) for you to… well.. I don’t know. I guess to stick in your vagina. Which sounds kinda like the ingredients for a yeast infection, except mint flavored.

5. Your vagina is the wrong color. Solution: Vaginal Dying or Bleaching

For generations, women around the world have been just disgusted by their vagina-colored vaginas, and wondered when someone was going to come up with a system that would make their vaginas more visually appealing. Luckily, someone came up with a bleaching system that would take that old, unfortunately colored vagina and give it a little boost, like when you throw Clorox in to get rid of dirt stains on your white jeans.

img @ the faktorial

It’s the news headline everyone’s been waiting for… John Edwards, two time failed presidential nominee, has a sex tape. Edwards’ mistress is suing his former aide for the return of videos and photographs which depict “matters of a private and personal nature.” Which in lawyer-speak probably means dirty, raunchy sex. This comes on the heels of his admittance that he fathered a child with his mistress, which in lawyer-speak means he has officially ruined his political career.

His aide claims to have “feared for his life,” once Edwards found out that he had the tape and had been offered a “gigantic sum of money to sell it,” saying he slept with his whole family as well as a gun in his bed.  We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again, why do high-profile people make sex tapes? Isn’t it obvious at this point that they will get out to the public? At least save it on a flash drive and lock it in a safe, silly!

More news on the scandal @ ABCnews

It’s Groundhog Day, aka That holiday you haven’t cared about since 2nd grade, but it’s a great opportunity to sit back with some pizza and watch the movie Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray as a guy who has to relive the same day over and over. While we can all think of days that we’d relive forever (first kiss, prom, that night you had a threesome), there are a few days that we’d never ever want to relive again, not even once. With the help of HolyTaco, we’ve compiled 5 days of your life that you’d never want to relive.

1. That time you got food poisoning. 

img @ blogspot

 

To be fair, it was your own fault for thinking the 3am drive through of Alberto’s was a good idea. But all fault aside, the next 24 hours you spent projectile vomiting in the bathtub were the most painful, sweaty moments of your life. Having to relive them would probably cause some crazy, suicidal tendencies.

2. The time you peed your pants at school.

img @ theknack

Sure it was 24 years ago, but the shame you felt that day on the playground etched a mark on your psyche that won’t soon be forgotten. Reliving that day, with its mixture of embarrassment and  fear, would bring even the manliest of 6 year olds to tears.

3. That day you saw Watchmen in theaters.

img @ ning

You and all your graphic novel loving buddies waited in line for hours for what you expected to be absolutely the best movie in the history of graphic-novels-turned-movies. And instead of having your bowels moved by how mind-blowingly awesome the movie was, you spent two hours staring at a magnificent blue penis. Now imagine doing that, everyday, for the rest of eternity. Yep.

4. That time you fell snowboarding and bruised your tailbone

img @ flickr

Not only did you choose that jump to have your friend film with his straight-to-YouTube flip camera, but you spent the rest of the day with the most intense lower back pain of your life, and it totally ruined the rest of your trip. If you had to relive the ridicule from your friends and the unbearable butt pain forever, you’d rue the day someone invited you to the mountain. Stupid snow.

5. The day you die

If we go ahead and assume that life is really like Final Destination, and that your mode of death is totally pre-determined, than this day would be just the worst. Imagine waking each day knowing that for the next ten hours you’d be trying to avoid a disastrous, painful death that will hunt you down like you’re a three-legged gazelle. Talk about anxiety issues.

img @ GQ

Despite rumors that she and 300 star Gerard Butler are dating, it looks as though Jennifer Aniston has no plans to settle down in the near future. She has shared some of the details of the renovation of her home in Beverly Hills, from replacing the men’s side of her bathroom with a spa-bath and soaking tub, to purchasing a 24-seat dining table for entertaining friends. She added a 1960s Sauter piano and a large Chinese gong for summoning guests for dinner. She described the house in an interview as like “a big hug.”

We appreciate Miss Aniston’s sweet intentions with her guy-free home, but if we at BCU we’re gearing up our digs for the single life, we’d probably install a fully-stocked bar, stripper pole, and a 24 person jacuzzi instead of that gong… Just sayin’…

Check out the full story @ CNN

Remember a few days ago, when we posted rules for throwing a great Super Bowl? And how one of them was “Nix the Decorations?” Well, we’re gonna have to go ahead and add a footnote: if you have the incredible skills of the team at Break Media- keep the decorations. Below you see the most awesome Snack Stadium of all time. Every bit of the stadium is edible, from the massive chocolate cake field to the Twinkie-cars in the parking lot, to the strategically divided chip variations in the stands. At 4 feet by 7 feet, the sheer size of this appetizer building is awe-inspiring. To the culinary and architectural geniuses at Break, we salute you!

img @ smh.com.au

Everyone knows how shameful it feels when you wake up to a clearly alcohol-induced one night stand in your bed. With a massive headache and a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach, you roll over to see a beast of epic proportions. Although you may feel helpless at the moment, HolyTaco has done a great favor of providing some tips on how to get rid of a regrettable one night stand.

1. Create a Non-Sexual Environment

By getting up promptly, putting on your clothes,  and whipping open the blinds, you show your adversary that you are not going to partake in any morning sex. The light from the window may worsen the appearance of your mistake, but hopefully will shame the naked atrocity in your bed into leaving.

2. Create a Sense of Urgency

HolyTaco suggests putting on a tie and discussing your lateness for the day’s events, even if your plans for the day consist of playing video games and eating Cheetos. Bonus point if you say you’re late for STD testing or a parole hearing.

3. Have Breakfast Ready to Go

Some people (jerks) believe that you have to provide breakfast for your monstrosity of a one night stand. In case this happens, have a variety of quick “on-the-go” foods ready to pass off as you push them out the door, like bagels, a  SlimFast bar (if you’re daring), or a GoGurt… it even has go in the name!

4. Walk out the Door

Like we stated previously, it matters not if you actually have anything to do that day. By walking out the door and gesturing like you’re getting in the car, you are making a clear statement that the date/accident/horrific event is over. Once the shamed woman or man drives away, feel free to head back inside, strip down to your boxers, and drown your sorrows in children’s breakfast cereals and violent video games.

Don’t worry. The misery will pass.