VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

img @ ediets

Remember when Jeff Foxworthy used to do those “You might be a redneck” jokes? Those weren’t funny.

Although no one on the BCU staff knows “how to make roadkill stew,” we do know the signs that you might be whipped. Here are our top 5 favorites.

1) If she knows all your passwords…

When I was a kid and I first got my own computer, my parents knew all my passwords to make sure I wasn’t getting into any shenanigans online. Then I turned 13, and the word “privacy” entered my vocabulary. That was the last time it was okay for anyone to you know your password. If you let her read your e-mails, you are letting her be your mom. Not okay.

2) If you ask permission to go out with the guys…

If she assumes you’re going boob-hunting every time you and your buddies want to hang out, she’s got some insecurity issues that she needs to work out… alone. She’s your girlfriend, not your warden, and you don’t have to ask permission to leave the house.

3) If you only hang out with her friends…

Remember when you had separate friend groups? You would meet up with her after hanging with your friends? Now all you do is hang out with other couples, sitting at someone’s house drinking wine and watching Couple’s Retreat. You sir, are whipped.

4)If you always worry she’s going to get mad…

You’re at the store, practically drooling over a new LCD big screen. You just got a raise and want to drop the big bucks, but you’re worried that your sleeping dragon of a girlfriend might not approve, so you call to ask. Making decisions on your own is part of being a grown up, so do it! (Plus, if she’s not stoked on a nice new TV, she’s got issues anyway)

5) If she uses sex as a bargaining tool…

90% of the time she wears sweatpants and a grease-stained college t-shirt to bed, and the only time you ever see her look sexy anymore is when she’s asking you to buy her a ridiculously overpriced diamond necklace. Sex is a key part of any relationship, and if the only time you get it is after a business transaction, you need to get out, now.

img @ metro.co.uk

A 28 year old Korean guy named Lee Jin-gyu just married his ‘dakimakura,’ a kind of body pillow with an anime character on it. Don’t worry, this isn’t a normal practice in Korea, apparently there he’s called “otaku,” a word that is translated roughly to “obsessive” and “nerd.” He takes the pillow to the movies, fairs, and out to dinner, and yes, he gets the pillow a meal.

Jin-gyu, come on. Sign on to OBC and meet some real booty. Leave that poor pillow alone!

img @ danburgar.wordpress

Second only to perhaps Mardi Gras, Spring Break is one of the hottest, most debauchery-filled holidays (holi-weeks?) of the year. Unlike Mardi Gras, however, you’re less likely to face an onslaught of  old-lady-gone-wild fun bags in your face, because Spring break is much more a college holiday. Thank god.

1) Cancun, Mexico

The omnipotent ruler of Spring Break destinations is in Cancun, Mexico. The hottest college kids will be tanned and toned and ready to party, and you will, at some point, probably find yourself in the middle of a Girls Gone Wild taping.

Downside: Being in Mexico, there is always a chance that you’ll be caught in the middle of a drug lord shoot out or corrupt police abduction.

2) Cozumel, Mexico

If you’re looking for a more relaxed, less hardcore Spring Break, Cozumel is a great alternative to its raunchier Mexican counterparts. With gorgeous Caribbean beaches and great snorkeling sites, Cozumel is likely to make you consider never going home again.

Downside: You want a “less hardcore”  Spring Break? Jeez. Bo-ring.

3) The Bahamas

Probably the most beautiful place on our list, it has been scientifically proven that you can not be unhappy while vacationing in The Bahamas (don’t quote me on that). Awesome nightlife, enough casinos to bankrupt you, and pristine beaches on which to sleep off your hangover? What more could you ask for?

Downside: It’s a third world country.

4) Ft. Lauderdale

The OG of Spring Break destinations, Ft. Lauderdale started the tradition of Spring Break being notorious for “binge drinking, recreational drug use, and casual sex.” So if you want to be a part of party history, hop a flight to Florida and get the party started.

Downside: Ft. Lauderdale suuuuuucks.

5) Lake Havasu, AZ

I know what you’re thinking. Why would I want to spend Spring Break in Arizona?! I’ll tell you why. Lake Havasu. Boats. Half naked women. Beer. What else could you possibly want for your Spring Break?

Downside: Don’t get too drunk or you’ll either get arrested by the “Party Police” or fall off a boat and get ripped to shreds by your boat’s propeller.

img @ theinsanityreport

Gentlemen, did your lady force you to take her out for a lavish dinner on Valentine’s Day? Did she demand roses, chocolates, and wine, followed by hours and hours of “making love”? If this is the case, you should be thanking me right now, because I have recently discovered that this Sunday, March 14, is Steak and a BJ Day.

Can it be? you ask? Do I really get retribution for the hellacious experience that has been February 14th for my entire life? you ask?

The answer is yes, and I provide you this page from DateDaily to print and display as proof when your lady-friend unavoidably says, “THAT DOESN’T EXIST.”

Put on a nice shirt and scrub your junk, boys, because this day comes around only once a year.

img @ calmclinic

Was I think only person in the world unaware of the term “GGG”? It’s a term coined by Dan Savage, gay author and sex advice columnist for The Stranger (awesome magazine name). A little more research, though,  shows that the GGG works for both gay and straight couples. It stands for Good, Giving, Game, or Good in bed, Giving equal time and pleasure, and Game for anything (within reason. Safe words, people, safe words!).

It seems to me that the GGG scale, or how closely your partner abides by these standards, should be the ultimate demonstration of your sexual prowess. Keep that alliterative phrase in your mind the next time you wrangle up some booty!

In this clip from KTLA news where she discusses the various types of online dating, OBC gets a quick, but awesome shout out. OBC is joining the big leagues, boys! Watch out!

Here are BCU’s top picks for Academy Award hotness.

1. Rachel McAdams

Steering away from the drab single toned dresses that most stars rock on the red carpet, Rachel McAdams went with “muted tones” and “flowing panels of organza and mousseline,” which I think is French for “I’d totally hit that.”

2. Sandra Bullock

The best actress winner looked bangin’ at age 45 in this body hugging lace and metallic… um… dress thing. Although I don’t know how I feel about that hooker-colored lipstick she’s got on,  considering she won an Oscar, I imagine she couldn’t care less what I think.

3. Cameron Diaz

I’ve had a major girl crush on Miss Diaz since her There’s Something About Mary. But here, in this super sexy dress and side swept hair that’s not full of, well, bodily fluids, she could be hotter than ever.

3. Penelope Cruz

Penelope Cruz could win our award for “Most Times Featured on a BCU Hotties List,” but you wouldn’t know it based on the trash-talking that went on about this dress. Crap like, “the dress wore her,” and other stupid lines that could only be said by jealous, unattractive TV hosts.

5. Anna Kendrick

A newcomer to the BCU top hotties awards, Anna Kendrick looked like a Greek goddess in this sheer pink dress. The Up in the Air star got slammed for those chunky heels, but what-ev-er, because the only complaint we have is that the slit in her dress should go way higher.

However, this guy’s letter to his wife (or soon to be ex-wife) is pretty freakin’ hilarious. Shocking and pretty NSFW, yes, but also awesome. This guy is my hero.

img @ tumblr

Read the rest after the jump!

img @ onlinedatingschool

Oh look, another study created primarily to let sex-deprived scientists check out hot chicks!

A University of Queensland Australia research group performed some studies on a group of male skateboarders. They were asked to perform tricks while in front of their male peers, and then a group of beautiful women. Surprise, surprise, the guys took way more risks when the ladies were in the audience.

Psychologist Bill von Hippel claims there is an evolutionary reason for this: for all existence, men have competed against each other physically for access to fertile women, he says, and “the winners of those competitions are the ones who pass on their genes to future generations.”

I’m gonna go ahead and take a stab in the dark and say the main conclusion of this study is in fact, male skateboarders are horny little street rats.

Read more @ DateDaily