Oh, the holidays. They catch us off guard every year. One minute it’s summer, the next, it’s freezing outside and we’re expected to cook and spend a nauseating amount of time with the family.

One way to perk up your fall holiday is to set up a booty call for Thanksgiving night. Here are my top 5 tips for having a holiday night you’ll be totally thankful for.

1) Plan Ahead. It’s Thanksgiving. No one is going out clubbin’ tonight. You’ve got your pick of the litter, so make sure to schedule a booty call ahead of time with someone who is trying to escape the family shenanigans just like you. Grab some wine and maybe some pumpkin scented candles. Give your place a warm ambience, so your booty call won’t think you’re some creepy Scrooge who hates holidays.

2) Skip the Ex. The last thing you want is to rekindle an old flame that died for a reason. The holidays are notorious for convincing us we should be in a relationship, but you’ve probably forgotten that obnoxious noise she makes when she chews. It’s gross.

3) Don’t Binge on Turkey. It’s called tryptophan and it makes you sleepy. Do you want to fall asleep before you get to the finish line? I didn’t think so.

4) Get Right To It. The small talk, the awkward “How was your Thanksgiving?” questions, blah blah blah. You both know where this is going. Time management 101, people: Get to the booty!

5) Black Friday : Your Escape Plan. It’s the biggest shopping day of the year! It’s foolproof. How can anyone get mad at you for slipping away at 5:30 in the morning when you just want to buy a BluRay player for your ailing grandmother? Whatever you do, don’t let an overly-clingy booty call tag along on your shopping trip.

Now you’ve got the tools for an epic Thanksgiving booty call… now get out there and DON’T EMBARRASS ME.

As founder of Online Booty Call and active member of numerous dating services, I’ve come to learn a great deal about the Do’s and Don’ts of online dating. My experience has made me one of those unofficial yet reassuring “authorities” of dating, so pay close attention because this advice will improve your chances of meeting singles online.

First, don’t promise marriage just to get a date, women love passion, but they don’t want you quoting romance novels in your first conversation. A simple compliment will suffice for starters. At OBC we embrace the casual mentality, and by keeping it casual, we help people make that first connection without the pressure of planning for eternity.

Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts of online dating:

• 10. DO keep it simple and casual on the first date.
• 9. DON’T act too interested; it makes you look desperate and gives away the upper hand.
• 8. DO compliment her on her appearance. Subtle flattery with a humorous twist will ease you into her good graces.
• 7. DON’T hesitate to ask her out. Chances are if you’re not asking her out, someone else is, so be assertive and initiate the conversation.
• 6. DO act confident. Walk into the room like you own the place; confidence is a turn-on. If she’s feeling your vibes she’ll take the cues.
• 5. DON’T be cocky. Cockiness is corny and makes you look like a jerk.
• 4. DO offer to pay for the date, guys. Chivalry is not dead. Plus, offering to pay for the date conveys financial stability and good manners.
• 3. DO use protection. Always come properly equipped if you’re making a move for the bedroom, or even if you’re not. Who knows, you could get lucky!
• 2. DON’T look for dates that are out of your league. If you’re 50, overweight, and make 25K a year, chances are you won’t land a 23 year-old supermodel. Be realistic, if it seems like it’s too good to be true then it probably is.
• 1. DO play the game. Too many people write in their profiles that they’re not into playing games. The reality is everyone does it, especially online, so stay sharp player.

Online dating is a great way to meet new people and have some fun. But, it does take common sense and effort to make it work! Feel free to leave a comment and share your advice with us.

With millions of connections made every week at OBC, we see many happy OBC members find the booty they’ve always been searching for. Unfortunately, we also see a lot of men who have no idea how to approach women. It saddens me to see you guys miss out on so much booty, all because you are taking the wrong approach. That’s why I’ve come up with my patented 5 Tips on How to Approach a Booty Call. Read and learn grasshoppa!

1. Slow it Down – Never start your Booty Calls with comments about how bad you want to bend her over. That only works in pornos. Take the time to get to know her by chatting and making her feel comfortable with you. In the real world, you don’t walk up to someone and expect to hook up without playing the game. It’s no different online.

2. Treat Her Like a Lady – Even if she’s only interested in a casual hookup, she doesn’t want to feel like a prostitute. Greeting her with a line like, “Nice tits, when are we gonna hookup?” is the perfect way to kill any chance of meeting her. Although guys react to the physical attraction of a member’s photo, take the time to read her profile description if she has one. This will give you a better understanding on how to approach her. A little time and effort will go a long way.

3. Be Original – Don’t copy and paste the same message to every member on your Booty Call list. Most women can tell when you’re doing this and it gives them the impression that you’re lazy and uncreative. On the other hand, don’t waste your time writing a poem or your life story in the first message you send to her. You may think you’re showing her that you’re going the extra mile but she will probably think you’re corny, desperate, or worse; crazy.

4. Don’t be an A-hole – If you don’t receive a response right away or don’t get the answer you were looking for, don’t get mad and send her a disrespectful message. She may not be online all the time but that doesn’t mean you’ll never hear from her. Act like you’ve had some before and move on so that you don’t ruin your chances of ever getting to know her.

5. Have fun – Meeting new people should not be approached like a job interview. There’s no perfect formula that will work with every woman, but if you can make her smile, you’ve already reached first base!